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Jaded Local: Might As Well Face It
Closing day at Mammoth. PHOTO: THE JADED LOCALWords: The Jaded LocalShot out of a cannon, a skier careens through the smithereens of another ski season. Births deaths funerals reunions mountains...
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The Jaded Local: June Gloom
3d Chute (far left), the ramp of Dream Mountain, and Upper Hemlock. Photo: The Jaded LocalWords and Photo: The Jaded Local“Are you all right? What’s wrong?”“A great disturbance in the Force, as if...
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Interns Wanted: Earn College Credit*
Ski Journalism: The Truth is out there somewhere. Now let's go to the bar. PHOTO: MIKE WELCHJaded Local seeks avy II-certified college students to work closely with Renowned Ski Journalist. Race...
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The Jaded Local: An Action Sports Hall of Fame
Great moments in halfpipe watching history. PHOTO: MIKE ROGGEThere comes a time in every Ski Journalist’s “career” when he must make a stand, when the truth must be told, no matter the cost. This, like...
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The Jaded Local’s Pre Season Tips
'Tis the Season. PHOTO: N.KENDALL1. Repair broken windows in vehicle with a winter-ready combination of cardboard, trash bags, and duct tape. Same goes for house.2. Locate ski gear in the back of truck...
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Jaded Analysis: Vonn Damn!
Yeah, she probably can't handle the men's course. Photo: EPIX.Downhiller Lindsey Vonn was recently shut down by the Federation Internationale du Ski in her quest to race in a men’s DH, specifically the...
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Trophy Line Theory
Mammoth patroller Scott Quirsfeld talks about safety strategy with local shredders. PHOTO: RYAN COPENHAGENA couple of weeks ago in Mammoth, Jeremy Jones spoke and put on a slideshow about his pursuit...
View ArticleChampocalypse: Dispatch From The Alps
The world capital of alpinism is more known for black ice and crevasses than for deep snow, but the last couple of weeks in Chamonix were an early season tourist-free snorklely powder Armageddon for...
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To: All Employees, Red Bull Action Sports Division
Baby goats will soon replace humans as the vehicle for action sports branding.I’m sure that by now you’ve seen the “baby goat playing on giant pig” video, and hopefully the Action Sports Division has...
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The Jaded Local Reviews Greg Stump’s Legend of Aahhh’s
Greg Stump came to Mammoth a few weeks ago to show his new film. I didn’t really know what to expectit seemed like it’s been years since the first announcements about the project, and I’d heard no...
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The Wrath of Vonn
Lindsey Vonn feeding on it at the FIS Giant Slalom World Cup in Maribor, Slovenia on January 26, 2013. PHOTO: ASP Red Bull/Red Bull Content PoolJust six months out from destroying her knee, Lindsey...
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Jaded Feeder Readback: Slovenian Stalker Edition
Maybe if the Jaded Local updated his iPhone iOS he might know the difference between a fruit bat and a mountain lion. PHOTO: GVDWhat with Social Media and everything, I’m making an effort to engage...
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The Jaded Local: Vonn Is Out
Lindsey Vonn, the fastest woman on the planet, at the 2013 FIS Alpine Skiing World Cup in Lake Louise. PHOTO: Red Bull Content PoolLindsey Vonn reblew her knee and is out of the Olympics. Sadly, she’ll...
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The Jaded Local
Chinese downhill, with mud pond obstacles, twerking, and costumes. Definitely costumes. PHOTO: Ryan SalmCompetitions are for horses. Composer Bela BartokIt’s weird times at the IOC headquarters right...
View ArticleThe Jaded Local: Hubristics
PHOTO: After rubbing one out in his happy safe lion suit, the happy safe lion finds his happy safe place. Photo by Trent BonaThis story originally published in the October 2014 issue of POWDER...
View ArticleThe Jaded Local: How to Fix Everest
Even before this spring’s tragic earthquake(s), the outdoor media has been obsessed with “fixing” Mount Everest. Outside Magazine and National Geographic have built a virtual empire of deeply concerned...
View ArticleJaded Media Report: Lindsey Vonn Controversy Erupts!
Ha-ha! Just kidding. No Lindsey Vonn controversy has erupted. And if it did, it would probably be a bunch of noise about nothing. But a million people would click on that mother. So if you clicked here...
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The Jaded Local: How to Write A Pro Skier Profile
Pro Skier Profile Writing 201: Time to up your Instagram game. Photo: Adam BarkerCourse: Ski Journalism 201: How To Write A Pro Skier Profile(Prerequisite: Ski Journalism 101, The Importance of...
View ArticleJaded Local: The Goatpack 9000
After seeing all the media play that videos get of people (and rabbits) having close calls in avalanches, I’ve been searching for a way to get in on some of that viral action myself. POV beacon...
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The Jaded Local’s Guide to Gear
The 2016 Buyer’s Guideit’s coming soon. In the meantime, brush up on your technical gear speak with The Jaded Local. This column was originally published in the September 2014 issue (43.1). Marquee...
View Article“That’s Not Powder!”
Marquee photo: Yeah, if you can’t ski them, moguls do suck. But try telling these guys that. PHOTO: Alexa MillerPretty much every time we cover (or mention on any POWDER-branded Media Platform) any...
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Jaded Local: Thundering Wildebeests
“These skis suck up the bumps like Chester A. Arthur!” PHOTO: Matt SmallThis Jaded Local originally appeared in the September 2015 (44.1) issue of POWDER.Just as ski engineers have spent the last year...
View ArticleThe Jaded Local: WWLVD
I had a friend once who liked to liven up a long nighttime desert drive by turning the headlights off at 70 miles an hour and refusing to turn them on until I freaked out. This will be relevant later.I...
View ArticlePowder 8s: The Jaded Local’s Eight
Topics the ski media thinks that you’re fascinated by:1. Microbreweries in ski towns2. Things that are Iconic3. What it’s like to be a woman skier4. The rich inner lives of 19 year olds who are good at...
View ArticleSki Town: The Sitcom
This story originally published in the February 2016 issue of POWDER (44.6).The media is saturated with idealized images of rad people self-actualizing in the alpine while wearing colors that pop and...
View ArticleThe Jaded Index - Figures cited are the latest available from an empty bottle...
“The Jaded Index” is not a registered trademark. This story originally published in the January 2016 issue of POWDER (44.5). PHOTO: The Jaded Local contemplates the numbers of all things skiing at...
View Article7 Things to Wax Besides Skis - Life advice from The Jaded Local
1. Nethers 2. Car 3. Chest 4. Philosophical 5. Lyrical 6. *The dog, in a beer-fueled attempt at shedding mitigation, reducing absorption of garbage/roadkill smells, and improving overall winter...
View Article8 Concerns of Gear Nerds - With solutions!
1. How far forward of the line should I mount the bindings my new skis? None more forward. If you need to mount them forward, maybe you should buy shorter skis. 2. If only there was a ski size between...
View ArticleThe Beater Meter - How to tell if someone is a beater without seeing them ski
1. GoPro inbounds at a ski resort, helmet mount aimed at feet. 2. We’re in Vail. Oh shit, I’m a beater too. 3. Backpack inbounds at ski resort (waist strap unfastened and dangling). What the hell do...
View ArticlePowder 8s with The Jaded Local - Key numbers in skiing; smells in your ski...
Eight key numbers in skiing: 1. Triple cork 1440 2. 8,000 meters 3. 45 degrees 4. 223 cm 5. 150 days a season 6. Any amount of Hobbs Time in a helicopter 7. Double Daffy 8. Happy Hour 4-6 Eight...
View ArticleCoolest-sounding Names for Crap Ski Technology - "Revolutionary" ski tech...
15. Alpine Trekkers Rumor has it that these widely despised alpine touring binding adaptors have proven effective for “enhanced interrogation” on suspected terrorists at Guantanamo Bay. Subjects are...
View ArticleWhat Type of Skier Are You? - Beginner, Total Bro, or Type Infinity?
STANDARD SKIER TYPES AND BINDING SETTINGS Type 1 Cautious skiing on smooth slopes of gentle to moderate pitch. Lighter than average release settings. General confusion. Type 2 Average retention/release...
View ArticleWhat Kind of Local Are You? - Five people you will probably meet on your next...
This story originally published in POWDER’s November 2016 issue (Vol. 45 Issue 3). PHOTO: Jay Goodrich I. Guy who doesn’t want to talk to you on the gondola: Yes, I’m acting like a dick with my hood...
View ArticleWhat Would Skiing be without Apres Skiing? - Three runs, two beers, a little...
This story originally published in the October 2016 issue of POWDER (Vol. 45 Issue 2). ILLUSTRATION: Will Dinski Pinning down the exact definition of the only ski-related term that’s the same in at...
View ArticleEvery Day is Gaper Day - Skiing shouldn't be about getting gnar—it's about...
This story originally ran in the December 2016 issue of POWDER (Vol. 45 Issue 4). PHOTO: Bruno Long When weirdoes founded POWDER in 1972, the hedonism of powder skiing and freely shredding was a tiny...
View Article5 Pieces of Useful Ski Minutia - Wise words to heed from The Jaded Local
1. Pozi-drive, not Phillips-head screwdriver. 2. Finger-to-a-finger-and-a-half gap from the back of your heel to the shell with the liner out and your toes just touching the front of the shell. 3. Cell...
View ArticleIt’s Time to Set Pro Skiers Free - Because all they really want to do is go...
A very earnest A-list professional skier recently told me that he was trying to figure out how to stay in his profession without dying. Which is rational and healthy and also really sad when you...
View ArticleA Summit Plan for Dumb People - Announcing an easy-to-follow guide to get you...
DAY ONE Choose Your Objective Make sure it sounds cool when you tell other people about it, like the Apocalypse Couloir in Death Canyon (good job on that one, Jackson). We’re looking for names like...
View ArticleHow To Write Ski Reviews That Don’t Suck - In a world with too many good...
Dear 2017-18 Ski Testers, We have overcome many obstacles over the years: hangovers, hardpack, malfunctioning keg taps, confusing marketing lingo, too many dudes in the hot tub. But we now face the...
View ArticleThe Brutal, Honest Truth About Ski Travel - Five missteps to avoid while...
After 25 years of professional ski travel, I've learned a trick or two along the way: Don't make fun of an Italian border guard's tight pants, always smoke cigarettes while in France, and never talk to...
View ArticleHow To Be The Best Local Ever - The Jaded Local's do's and don'ts of living...
GEARING UP Do: -Cultivate local hook-ups and then sell all the gear on eBay. -Haggle shop employees making $12 an hour by trying to pay for a tune on your $1,000 all-carbon skis with a six-pack....
View ArticleSome Things In The Ski World Need To Change - The Jaded Local's new rules for...
Chairlift loading order on powder days would be determined not by who shows up first, but by an intricate system of style points that would encourage creativity and levity. Instead of rewarding those...
View ArticleThe Jaded Local’s Crystal Ball - Let's hope that this year will be better...
Fires, floods, hurricanes, Nazis in the streets… 2017 was a mess and it should come as no surprise that my predictions for the near future are suitably dark. Extrapolating current trends is a grim...
View ArticleCool-sounding Names for Crappy Ski Technology - "Revolutionary" ski tech...
1. Telemark Look, I understand that hippies can be annoying and the bindings always break or rip out, but you have to admit that at the end of the day it’s a cooler-sounding word than “randonee” or...
View ArticleThe Pleasure of Not Doing Anything Rad - The pow-day program was in full...
It wasn't their fault. Tired from the shred-fest that is Jackson Hole's upper mountain on a powder day, the Rad Bros simply had no frame of reference for the happy idiot in the bandana and...
View ArticleIt’s Time For Ski Towns To Start Anti-Marketing
In 1970, the late great Hunter S. Thompson ran for sheriff of Pitkin County, Colorado, where Aspen was just starting to blow up. Thompson ran on a platform of tearing up all the pavement in town,...
View ArticleConfidential Notice: For Internal Super Evil Ski Corp Distribution Only
Ladies and Gentlemen, Undoubtedly, we’re all cognizant of the impending threats to our business model: Backcountry skiing is growing more popular, snowboarding has plateaued, climate change is throwing...
View ArticleHot Dog 2: The Sequel
Thirty-five years ago, the most seminal Hollywood ski movie was, um, released on the public, exposing them to the stunt skiing of Tahoe legend Tom Day, the boozy antics of Squaw Valley misfits, a...
View ArticleJunk in the Truck: 2013 Dynafit Huascaran
If zee Germans can maintain this kind of rapid-fire product development, it's going to put real pressure on an industry that would prefer to spend it's money on developing shiny new marketing...
View ArticleJohn Clauson is Kicking Cancer
Soon after that, Clauson was diagnosed with leukemia. He has health insurance, but he and his family have had to travel to Denver for aggressive chemotherapy, and he still faces more treatment and a...
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